The entire holiday season had a melancholy to it. I woke up most mornings wondering if there would be a missed call, wondering if I should visit sooner and knowing this would be my last Christmas with my beloved grandmother.
She gifted snow globes to my sister and I this year and after returning to Austin, I opened the box and handled it for the first time. I shook it a little and then wound up the spring motor. As the snow fell “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” played. The tears came and they haven’t really stopped.
We’ve packed up most of our Christmas decorations, but I can’t bring myself to put away the snow globe. Not yet. I usually embrace the new year. I love the feeling of a fresh start. I love making time for reflection and dreaming of what’s coming, and I have done some of that — but I’m not fully ready to move into 2024.
If you’re still lingering in 2023 — for whatever reason — you’re not alone. I’m here with you (there with you?), watching fake snow settle, listening to a music box version of a sad carol, and keeping a close eye on my phone. There will be time for writing about all that the new year brings, but I’m not there yet. For me, I’m finishing the season the way I began it — naming the suffering and lighting a candle.
Until more words come, I’ll leave you with a list of some of my favorite books from the year:
My Favorite Books of 2023
Fiction
Pachinko - Min Jin Lee
The Patron Saint of Liars - Ann Patchett
Demon Copperhead - Barbara Kingsolver
Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller
Memior
Finding Me (audio) - Viola Davis
All My Knotted Up Life (audio) - Beth Moore
You Could Make This Place Beautiful - Maggie Smith
This is Not a Book about Benedict Cumberbatch (audio) - Tabitha Carvan
Friends, Lovers and The Big Terrible Thing (audio) - Matthew Perry
Non-Fiction
Living Resistance - Kaitlin Curtice
My Grandmother’s Hands - Resmae Menaken
You Are Not a Before Picture - Alex Light
The Awakened Brain - Lisa Miller
Julian of Norwhich - Amy Frykohlm
What did you read this year? What’s on your list for next year?
Links & Spiritual Direction News
You might enjoy a few of my January 2023 posts if you’ve already moved into 2024:
If you’re looking for more book lists check out this, this or this post.
As a spiritual direction apprentice, I am taking on directees (both in person and virtually) for free as I learn and grow in the practice. You can read more about my apprenticeship training here, see my bio at the bottom of this page and read a little about my philosophy of spiritual direction here. If spiritual direction is something that you or someone you know might be interested in, please reach out! I can be contacted at hollyporterphillips@gmail.com.
Mark your calendar for my next mini-retreat: Preparing for Lent on Tuesday, February 13th from 11:30 am - 1 pm CT. This retreat will be donation based. More information to come!
Lighting a candle with / for you, Holly. Permission to linger long, my friend.