A celebration of taking up space on the internet!
on yoga and launching a website
In June, I reflected on some of the different selves I’ve been1 over the years. In describing my just moved to Austin self, I said it was the person who created a new life far from home.
In my mid-twenties, I fell in love and moved here — and then fell in love again with the city2. When I think of my just moved to Austin self, my mind wanders to our last minute get togethers, long chats on my porch and meals that lingered for hours. I think of live music, bicycles, the farmers market, and yoga. So much yoga.
In yoga, instructors are always telling you to take up more space. To stretch and extend your arms, your legs, your body. To puff your chest out and breathe deeply. It’s instructions for moving your physical body certainly, but it’s about more than that, right? It’s an invitation to feel more comfortable in your body. It’s encouragement to be whoever you are in that moment. It’s permission to not apologize for simply existing, but to take up space.
It’s easy to apologize for just being around. We apologize when people run into us, or when our children behave like children. We say I’m sorry when we don’t understand what our doctor is telling us or when it takes us a few hours (or days) to respond to a text.
Several years ago, I decided to just stop. (Or at least to try!) To stop saying “I’m sorry my house is a mess” or “sorry he’s crying so much” — I try and resist beginning emails with “sorry for just getting back with you” or texts with “sorry for my slow response.” I was weary of apologizing for being a person. Taking up space is not just about not apologizing, though I think that’s a start. I take up space when I ask a question or speak up against injustice, when I preach and even when I write to you all here.
This summer, I noticed myself resistant to taking up space when it came time to launch a website for my spiritual direction practice. I wasn’t sure how sharing the new website would come across? Will someone think I’m being pushy or too much? I kept asking myself a favorite question of my inner critic: Who do you think you are??
After some reflection I finally asked: Are you worried about taking up space ON THE INTERNET??
That thought made me laugh and then convinced me that I can, unapologetically take up space. So today, I’m imagining myself in warrior 2 pose3. My feet at either end of the mat, my arms stretched long in opposite directions. As I take a deep breath, I’m happy to share that this past May, I graduated from a spiritual direction apprenticeship with Anam Cara4. I am now a trained spiritual director! I celebrated with family in May, I have a celebration planned for the fall when I’m in Colorado with the Anam Cara community and today I’m celebrating with you! I hope you’ll take a minute to click the link and look around a little, maybe even sending it to a friend:
Thank you for being here, and your support!!
Holly
P.S. When do you find yourself hesitant to take up space?
Updates & Links
I am continuing to host co-writing through Spiritual Direction for Writers. (Co-Writing sessions are mostly that, a group working on their own writing projects — with a small check-in and centering at the top of each hour.) I’ll be hosting August 15, 1-3pm CT and August 21, 1-3pm CT. If you’re interested or would like more information, reply to this email.
In September I will begin to host these co-writing sessions most Wednesday afternoons. I’d love for you to join!
As the school year gets going I’ve been loving listening to The Lazy Genius podcast. A few episodes I’ve especially enjoyed recently are: The Lazy Genius: Back-to-School Checklist and When Life Feels Like a Fire Hose.
In a couple weeks I’ll be writing about my summer reading, but I’m pretty sure my favorite read of the summer (year?) is Sandwich by Catherine Newman! I can’t recommend enough!
Warrior 2 Yoga pose video Yoga With Adriene
Brava, beautiful you, brava!!!