Prayer when you have a lot of other things to do.
Like a whole lot of other things.
My kids love roller coasters — as soon as they’re tall enough to ride, they’re in line, ready to take on the excitement. They watch ride videos and know the stats of where the biggest baddest coasters are located. Once, at an amusement park, my daughter rode a coaster nine times. In a row. NINE.
Since they are thinking about roller coasters, I am thinking about roller coasters. Roller coasters have become part of my language, and I find myself using them as a metaphor (probably too) often, but especially during this busy season. For years, in the early fall, I picture myself waiting in line, buckling in and inching up the chain lift, moving slowly until I tip over that first big drop. From there, I’m pulled along the track by the ride's momentum, holding on as best I can until the week after Christmas. When I finally stop at the station, I wonder — what just happened?
Of course, this metaphor only takes us so far. In real life, there are moments of slowness, even in a busy season, and we can get off for a bit — to slow down, unbuckle, or skip an inversion or two. But do we?
I can feel that I’m buckled in now, looking over the top of the steep hill, anticipating the ride — but I keep wondering if there is another way. Does our ever-lengthening to-do list and full calendar have to be what propels us over the edge? Can we choose another track? Is it possible for something other than our busyness to give us momentum?
There might be a clue in these words from Richard Rohr: Prayer isn’t primarily words; it’s primarily a place, an attitude, a stance. That’s why Paul could say “Pray Always.” “Pray unceasingly.” If we read that as requiring words, it is surely impossible. We’ve got a lot of other things to do. We can pray unceasingly, however, if we find the stream and know how to wade in the waters.
These words from Rohr are inviting me to explore another way — to slow down a little, to find my momentum in being present to God, myself and others. The words invite me to wade in the waters instead of getting on the coaster. They invite me to prayer.
If we read Paul’s words to “pray without ceasing” as a requirement, we will surely fail. We do have a lot of things to do, especially this time of year.
So I’ve been wondering how we can wade in the waters if we can’t even find the stream because it’s cluttered with decorations, grocery shopping and coordinating holiday plans. How can we find the waters if every Saturday morning in December is already booked?
I don’t have all the answers to this — but I’d like to leave you with a few ideas on how we might dip our toes into the stream during the coming season. This is merely a starting place, not meant to be prescriptive, but merely a rock near the edge where you can take off your shoes.
The Practice of a Quiet Walk / Drive / Moment / etc.
It can feel so easy when we have quiet minutes to turn on music, a podcast, or catch up on the news. In the check-out line, we scroll Instagram, catch up with texts or emails — we fill our minds with more and more information. I am certianly not the first to write about this, but it is worth saying again (and again) — our minds, bodies, and souls need quiet!
I know I talk about this need for quiet a lot, and I want to say it again: It doesn’t have to look like 30 minutes of meditation every morning (though it could) — it can be a quiet walk, a 30-second pause, or even a slow, deep breath.
The Practice of Lighting a Candle:
Pastor and writer Traci Smith has said that she sometimes lights a candle, and asks God to remind her of the people she promised to pray for. And then prays. During that time, she also prays for those she's forgotten. It allows her to honestly say I will pray for you.
I've taken on this new practice in recent years and added to it. Many nights, I light a candle as I get ready for bed; I ask God to bring to mind anyone I should pray for. After I've moved on to reading, I keep the candle lit to remind myself that prayer is not only words we say or think; it is our posture, our communion with God. When I see a candle lit, I am reminded of God’s nearness.
The Practice of Everyday Awe in Nature
Research has shown that when we experience Awe, regions of the brain that are associated with excesses of the ego, including self-criticism, anxiety, and even depression, quiet down — Awe is the feeling of being in the presence of something vast that transcends your current understanding of the world — writes Dacher Keltner in his new book Awe.
Keltner gives us eight different categories of Awe in his book, but for now, let’s focus on Awe in Nature. Keltner says it is hard to imagine a single thing you can do that is better for your body and mind than finding awe outdoors.
Awe in nature can look many different ways, in different climates and for different people. Consider what brings awe in nature for you. Is it the sunset? Searching the night sky for stars? It could be finding the sun's warmth on a cold day, or the way the wind feels on your face. There is no right way to experience awe.
I hope these simple, less-traditional spiritual practices can guide you through the coming season. If you’re looking for more ideas, I talk about spiritual practices here, here and here. What would you add? What helps you to slow down during the holiday season?
May you move through this season, accepting the invitation to wade in the waters of God’s love,
Holly
Links and Spiritual Direction News:
Awe: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How it Can Change Your Life by Dacher Keltner
Traci Smith and a few of her books I recommend— Faithful Families: Creating Sacred Moments at Home and Little Prayers for Everyday Life
On November 30th, I’m offering a virtual Preparing to Wait mini-retreat from 7:30-9pm CT. It will be a spacious time to prayerfully consider how you would like to enter the Advent season. The Preparing to Wait mini-retreat will be donation-based for those who are able, but otherwise free. If you would like to attend, please email me at hollyporterphillips@gmail.com and I will add you to the list to receive more information and the Zoom link. If you are unable to attend but are interested in the material, send me an email, and I will send you self-guided materials after November 30th. This event is open to anyone, so please feel free to share.
As a spiritual direction apprentice, I am taking on directees (both in person and virtually) for free as I learn and grow in the practice. You can read more about my apprenticeship training here, see my bio at the bottom of this page and read a little about my philosophy of spiritual direction here. If spiritual direction is something that you or someone you know might be interested in, please reach out! I can be contacted at hollyporterphillips@gmail.com.