I recently returned from a trip to the Mountains with my family. We spent time in both Colorado and New Mexico — hiking, looking for waterfalls and seeking out scenic drives.
Just before we left I picked up Consolations by David Whyte from the library. I’ve been somewhat aware of his work over the years, hearing a podcast or reading a book here and there but not much. The tag line of the book says this: “The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words.” In each chapter, Whyte takes a word and gives meaning to it in a new way. The poetic essays both draw you in and give you pause.
The third or fourth word is Beauty and Whyte offers us these words in his definition: Beauty is the Harvest of Presence. I tucked this idea in my pocket and carried it with me as caught beautiful views out the car window, during waterfall hikes and one night as I watched the sun go down while I walked a labyrinth.
I had tons of moments like this where I repeated Whyte’s words drawing myself back into the moment. Putting away my phone, doing my best to be physically, mentally and emotionally present. And it worked. I laughed with my kids, I allowed myself to feel sadness when it came, I found beautiful moments when I wasn’t quite looking for them (and when I was).
As we made the long drive back, through west Texas and some less than scenic areas I began to wonder how I would carry this back into my day to day life.
A wise friend with kids much older than ours once offered that anytime he took a road trip he always regretted making stops on the way home. He said that once the car turned around it was time to get home. He was (and continues to be) so right. As soon as our car left the mountains my mind immediately turned to school supplies, uniforms, and thinking through all that needed to be done before my kids start back to school in a few weeks.
I checked work email, we talked through meal plans, work schedules and upcoming social plans. And, as the mountains grew fainter in the rearview mirror, I began to wonder how I would continue to join Whyte. A huge mountain or beautiful sunset, sure. I’ll harvest that beauty all day. Kids bickering over a what movie to watch, tumbleweeds and fields of dirt, a stiff back from the long hours in the car — where is the beauty to harvest?
We arrived home just before dinner on a Saturday night. I set out random snacks, cheese sticks, fruit, yogurt — whatever we found in the cooler, and scrambled a few eggs. I watered my plants, put a few things away, and started a load of laundry. I’ve long been drawn to the search for sacred in the dailiness of life. I’ve copied countless quotes about the mundane and the ordinary. I talk here about watching birds, slowing down, paying attention, and yet I’m still here wondering — Where is the beauty to harvest when I’m overwhelmed, scrubbing bathtubs or in the carpool line.
Where is the beauty when my preschooler is melting down about the way I cut his waffle, or I have 25 new emails since checking an hour ago. I can be present in those moments but I’m not sure there is much to harvest.
My grandmother occasionally experiences dementia and my mom has said, that often their twice-daily visits can be hard or sad. But, my mom says, there are the afternoons when my grandmother is herself, and the joy in those visits makes her forget about the harder days. Or even if not forget about them, the good days far overshadow the hard ones.
And so maybe that is how it is for us too. We may not harvest beauty every minute we choose to be present — sometimes we might just fold a stack of towels or take a walk around our neighborhood. But sometimes, sometimes beauty will appear when we least expect it and we can be waiting, ready to receive the gift — an impromptu after dinner dance party, your backyard at twilight, sadness that gives way to healing, or a gust of wind that reminds you that you are loved.
Alongside You,
Holly
P.S. A Few Gifts From Around the Internet:
Virginia Sole-Smith writes a Substack newsletter — Burnt Toast, an “anti-diet, fat positive community about body liberation.” I’m learning a lot, confronting long held beliefs and excited to read her new book Fat Talk: Parenting in the Age of Diet Culture.
I love Cup of Jo and have read the blog for 10? 15?? years — one of my favorite recurring posts is called Beauty Uniforms. They sifted through the old interviews and compiled the 10 Most Recommended Products. It’s a fun read if you’re looking for a new moisturizer or lipstick!
Meredith Miller is an absolute gift to parents and other adults navigating how to love their kids and share their faith with them. Her recent substack — Are Kids “Tiny Sinners”? was fantastic! You don’t want to miss her writing — while you’re at it you can pre-order her new book here.
Reading this harvested beauty, for me. “Sometimes beauty will appear when we least expect it and we can be waiting, ready to receive the gift.” Yes and.