A practice for tending to what is
+ my list of what worked in 2024
I know that we’re more than half-way through January, but I’m still over here reflecting and thinking about the coming year. I’m starting a year that I assume will include more change and movement than I anticipated back in 2023, when I chose the word continue. Even so, I keep thinking about tending to what is and the words I wrote that January:
In my reflections … I realized that I want more or less to tend to my life rather than experience a total upheaval. That as a family, we’d made time for work, rest, and play, not perfectly or every day, but I have practices set in place for the kind of family life that I desire. In my work, I have found rhythms that are (mostly) sustainable. And in my relationship with God, I’ve found practices that draw me in and give me life. Again, nothing is perfect or completely settled; but I realize that in so many areas of my life, I simply want to continue. I want to tend to what already is.
Inspired by Kendra Adachi and Emily P. Freeman’s lists of what worked, I decided to work through the practice I created several years ago. If you, like me, are slowly moving into 2025, you might find this helpful too.
A Practice for Naming, Tending, & Continuing from 2023
I hope to offer a chance for you to reflect and think through what you want to continue this year in regard to your life with God (which, of course, is really just your life). So often, we think about what we are not doing and how we can better ourselves and make big changes. So I thought today, we could instead spend time building on what already is.
Take a few quiet minutes to make a list of 5-10 things that worked this year and practices you want to continue. You might add something big, like the time you gave to your spiritual community or friendships. Or it might be something small like a breath prayer that you say as you get into the car for school drop-off. There are no right or wrong answers here; just make a list of what is working.
Now look over your list and decide on a few practices that you want to continue but might need some tending. Maybe family dinners are consistent, but you want to open with prayer or highs and lows more often. Or perhaps you read a lot last year but want to incorporate more reflective reading or prayer books.
Once you’ve identified a few, make a list of one or two steps you might take in order to tend to these practices. In what ways do you want to continue?
If it’s something you can do right now, do it — write down a breath prayer on a notecard and tape it to your bathroom mirror. Or make a plan to see a friend for a walk and discuss what’s working in your spiritual life right now.
If it’s something that needs to be done later, put your list where you can see it or add the next steps to your to-do list or planner. Do whatever you need to do to take the step to tend to your life.
Finally, give yourself a few more minutes of quiet to read over your list and ask God to join you as you tend to the things in your life you want to continue.
I hope you’ll carry this practice of naming, tending, and continuing—into other parts of your life. It can be easy only to see the changes we need to make and forget about what is already working, but here is your invitation to tend to what already is.
10 Things that worked in 2024:
In no particular order
Centering: I try to add to my calendar at least 10-15 minutes each day (and often more!) to sit, light a candle, read a poem or sit in silence. This practice shapes my days and reminds my body and mind that there is time to rest and just be.
Google Calendar: I’ve used paper planners for years and years, but have officially moved my life over to google calendar and I don’t think I’ll turn back.
Pickleball: On a whim my husband and I took a pickleball class last summer and have been playing most Friday mornings after drop off ever since! It’s a great way to spend an hour together having fun and getting exercise.
Leaving Instagram: I’ve long been taking extended breaks from Instagram (Winter break, long weekends and once, the entire summer). This summer, when I decided to jump off I assumed by the end of the summer I’d be back. When August rolled around, I just didn’t see a reason to get back on. The longer I’m off I just keep weighing the costs and benefits and staying off wins every time!
Family Meals: In a way this feels like a joke, we still have complaints about what is being cooked, and a little one who cries over trying new bites, but some days my family lingers a bit and we end up having great conversations or laughing together before it’s time to start dishes and get kids into baths and showers. We continue to eat all together almost every night, and I’m seeing glimmers of what I’ve always hoped family meals could be.
My Laptop Shoulder Bag from Purse and Clutch: When the brown leather version of this went on sale last winter I snagged it at a great price! I love having a bag I love that I can fit my laptop in along with whatever else I need. I use this bag at school, on trips and as a catch-all when I have a lot to carry. My bag is no longer available but here are a few you might like: Laptop Shoulder Bag (in black), Slim Outside Pockets Handbag, Everyday Clutch (this wont fit your laptop, but I love it!)
Seen filled with a souvenir from my trip to Santa Fe this fall :) Lighting Candles: So many candles. I’ve written about this many times before, but I often light a candle next to my chair or on my desk when I’m writing, reading or in prayer. There is something about the flicker of light to remind me that time is sacred. (I’ve been placing pillar candles on small plates to cut down on glass that can be hard to recycle and it’s worked great!)
Leftovers: Truly! This week I’ve had leftover veggies to throw on top of a salad and a bowl of delicious ramen and all it took was popping it in the microwave! Why do people hate on leftovers??
Turning my Sermons into Essays: This is maybe double dipping, but I’ve enjoyed turning my sermons into essays for you here, and hope to do more of that in the coming year!
My walking pad: over the summer I bought a walking pad (like a slower, less powerful treadmill). It’s been great to get some movement in when I’m watching a lecture, or in-between clients when I can’t quite make it outside!
What about you? What worked in 2025? What do you hope to tend to in the coming days and months?
Alongside you in the tending,
Holly
Spiritual Direction News:
If you want to stay up to date with my Spiritual Direction practice, upcoming events etc. you can sign-up for my monthly newsletter for my spiritual direction community at hollyporterphillips.com (scroll to the bottom!).
My friends at The Practice Collective have created a new directory of spiritual directors, and included me in it. If you’re looking for a director you can find their directory here. I also recommend the Anam Cara apprentices & peregrini directory.
Save the date! I’ll be hosting my Lent mini-retreat, Preparing for Renewal, at two different times this year: Thursday, February 27th at 7:30 pm CT and Friday, February 28th at 12:30pm CT. More information and sign-up to come!